Oh man, this dialogue is so bad that for many months I assumed it was a fanmade edit meant to be humoristical.
Instead, it’s an actual comic book panel by no less than Brian Michael Bendis. Oh boooyy.

Oh man, this dialogue is so bad that for many months I assumed it was a fanmade edit meant to be humoristical.

Instead, it’s an actual comic book panel by no less than Brian Michael Bendis. Oh boooyy.

Doom’s files: Thanos the mad titan!

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, supervillains and superheroes, to another episode of…. Doom’s files!

Today’s guest star is Thanos.

Thanos is a god-like sorta alien creature who looks a bit like a purple skrull. Some version of the characters do interpret him as an half-skrull god.

Thanos has two amazing superpowers. One is the Pimp Hand

….And the other power is the fearsome ability to make your gaze focus on his crotch, at all times:

He always, always makes sure to sit with his legs spread.

And look, I am not imagining things!

Apart from those two incredible powers, he also has the help of two trinkets: the Infinity Gauntlet that gives him godlike powers, and the Cosmic Cube. The latter you might have seen in the recent Avengers movie, only they called it the Tesseract and Loki was using it.

The Cosmic Cube is an amazing weapon who can reshape the universe

so it’s really important that it doesn’t fall in the wrong hands

and that’s why… uhm…

…Well, you know what, let’s forget about the Cosmic Cube.

What really defines Thanos is that he is in love with Death. As in, yes, the abstract concept of a biological fact.

But here’s one thing that the even majority of Marvel fans don’t know.

There was one time Thanos tried to get closed to the destroyer of worlds, Galactus.

Sadly, the date didn’t end too well. Thanos got a little too…. grabby.

And you thought I was only making this up for the laughs.

Ok. So maybe the one thing that REALLY defines Thanos is that he’s the most powerful villain of the entire Marvel universe.

Nobody can stop him.

Well. Nevermind.

Thanos! The all-powerful, mighty Titan!

I say!

I say!

Doom’s files: Kl’rt the Super-Skrull!

Recently, I have not been a good chronicler. I’ve failed to discover great and novel deeds of Von Doom to report in my blog, and why, it turns out I have even accidentally let an unrelated comment about a non-Marvel character slip through this official Latverian blog!

To avoid ending up in one of Castle Doomstadt’s p̶r̶i̶s̶o̶n̶s̶ reform institutes, I’ve decided that, whenever I’m running out of Doom material, I will make a post about a guest Marvel character.

And the first guest character can’t be anybody else but a personal favorite of mine: Kl’rt, the Super-Skrull.

LONG IMAGE-FILLED POST BELOW AHOY!!

As you surely know if you’re reading this, skrulls are a technologically advanced race of green aliens. They may look like ugly frog-imps or fair greenskinned elves, and then sometimes an artist comes and draws them like this:

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Enjoy the very sexy skrull lady on the center. You’re welcome.

The Super-Skrull is actually Kl’rt, a skrull soldier who was modified to have all the powers of the Fantastic Four. Then he was sent, alone, to conquer the Earth.

Which he did.

….By just landing on some city, getting out of the flying saucer, and proclaiming that Earth now belongs to the skrull empire. There. Done!

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The comments of the bystanders immediately set the style of the episode, and that style is: the Three Stooges!

image

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But don’t misjudge him. He’s an extremely dangerous threat to Earth and the universe.

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Threat level: battering ram

What really makes him so dangerous isn’t his superpowers, but his cunning and intelligence.

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One might wonder how would such a powerful warrior fall from the grace of the skrull empire.image

Or one might wonder how come the authors themselves don’t even bother to check their facts and ask the fanboys to do the job for them.

But he’s no villain, or at least, he’s no villain if you’re an Empire-abiding skrull. And after all, he even has a human friend, the space superhero Nova.

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So beware of the Super-Skrull, if you unwittingly decide to stand in his way. Because he’s a soldier who fought many battles, and who doesn’t go down easily even if you’re a superhero.

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A full story as a present! “I’ll be Doom for Christmas”, from Marvel’s “What the….?!” issue #10.

**** MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ******

What I like here is the gratuituous Spidey fanservice.

Then again, Spider-Man often ends up in absurd fanservicey situation.

Don’t believe it? Think again:

What I like here is the gratuituous Spidey fanservice.

Then again, Spider-Man often ends up in absurd fanservicey situation.

Don’t believe it? Think again:

Ladies and gentlemen.
Victor Von Doom.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Victor Von Doom.

…Whoops, I realized my latest update was a repost.
So how about a lightsaber duel, in true Star Wars fashion?



Lightsaber duel!!




LIGHTSABER DUEL!!

…Whoops, I realized my latest update was a repost.

So how about a lightsaber duel, in true Star Wars fashion?

Lightsaber duel!!

LIGHTSABER DUEL!!

More slapstick antics between Doom and Spider-Man.
Those guys should really get their own sitcom.

More slapstick antics between Doom and Spider-Man.

Those guys should really get their own sitcom.

You thought Spidey teaming up with Doom was some obscure event in the comic book timeline?

Well, not only it happened many times…. but it happened even BEFORE Spidey met Goblin for the first time!

…Ok, so they’re fighting here.

But that wasn’t Doom’s original plan.

So how does Latveria’s dictator contact a were-spider from New York?

….With a…. spider in a jar….using it as a modern mobile phone….? Eh, Doom’s done worse.